Adventure Time Coney Island

The first time I ever went to Coney Island, NY was my first full summer in NYC. I was recently single and raring to live my life. I strapped on my bikini and took the N train from Astoria Blvd (2nd to last stop) to Coney Island (the last stop on the train). As the…

Dear Subway Rider

Dear Subway Rider, Thank you. I know I do not say this often, but thank you. The other night I donated whole blood for the first time in a while and it hit me harder than I thought it would. Typically I donate platelets which takes 1.5 to 2 hours and does not affect me very…

Books on the Train

This is the second time I have seen someone reading a book I have read before this week. Yesterday morning a woman was reading The History of the World in 10 1/2 Short Chapters – I have only read the first chapter of that book, but that was the best one according to my father….

Adventure Time in NYC’s Suburb

Let me preface this post by saying that I don’t actually have a problem with New Jersey, it’s just very easy to pick on NJ and it is also a NYC cherished pastime. Having said all that, SCREW YOU NJ! So, I have relatives and a bunch of friends who live in/are from NJ. Therefore,…

Baby Michelle was Melodramatic

It’s Poetry Tuesday! We are going to go back through all my old notebooks and look at the god-awful poetry I wrote when I was an angsty teen and then you will get present day Michelle’s re-interpretation/headdesk horror-filled embarrassment. Cannibal Dripping blood Splats on the floor Intoxicating stench Weaves its spell The beast has risen…

Adventure Time VA

Hey Y’all! I am fresh back from the wilds of Virginia and by the “wilds” of Virginia I mean I am back from four days of lazing on a Chesapeake Bay beach and drinking way too many frozen refreshments. But such an idyllic time is not complete without a horror story to accompany it, so…

Hey Numbnuts

Hey Numbnuts, It’s fucking rude and annoying to stand directly in front of an opening subway door while on the platform for many reasons. Firstly, you are deliberately cutting in front of the people who are following etiquette and standing slightly to the side. Secondly, you are blocking the train passengers from being able to…

Coffee and Knees

She put her empty deli coffee cup into her bag, a few napkins stuffed into the opening to prevent the one or two drops of precious caffeine that even the most experienced and addicted of coffee drinkers cannot shake from the cup. The bag is a monster of a leather purse that takes up almost…

Baby Michelle was Melodramatic

First off, apologies for the prior draft being sent out. It was a hectic as shit day and I didn’t get the chance to update the schedule on this. BUT! It’s Poetry Tuesday! We are going to go back through all my old notebooks and look at the god-awful poetry I wrote when I was…

Omphalophobia

Bellybuttons freak me out and the girl standing across from me is unconsciously using the pole to play peekaboo with hers. It is not a full innie nor a full outie. Instead it looks like her bellybutton is trying to push itself out of her body. A small, fleshy nub nestled just inside the rim of the…

Adventure Time in Relationships

So, not to jinx it or anything, but my one year anniversary with Brazilian Helicopter Pilot is coming up in just over a month. Seeing as how when we started dating I was so commitment-phobic that I had trouble assenting to go to lunch as friends at the beginning of our relationship, I am quite…