So, not to jinx it or anything, but my one year anniversary with Brazilian Helicopter Pilot is coming up in just over a month. Seeing as how when we started dating I was so commitment-phobic that I had trouble assenting to go to lunch as friends at the beginning of our relationship, I am quite proud of how far we have come. I feel as though when people talk about relationships you hear about the DRAMA and the EXTREMES of everything and so very rarely the common every day things, so I figured I would touch on a few things that have been fun and/or supremely important to me as part of this relationship.
On our first date, Brazilian Helicopter Pilot made me laugh so hard at something that I spit food out the side of my mouth and into my hair. I was so mortified, but I couldn’t pick it out and he had to reach across the table and get it for me.
I had severe abdominal pain that, after suffering through it all day, forced me to first the Urgent Care and then the ER. My mother and sister were terrified it was my appendix and I was convinced if I just went home everything would be fine. I made the decision to take care of myself though, and went to the ER. On my way there, my sister urged me to tell the Brazilian Helicopter Pilot. We had been dating for little over a month at that point and I was petrified to tell him about it because I didn’t want to seem needy. Finally I messaged him that I was going to the ER. He was appropriately concerned and I relayed the conversation back to my sister. She said I needed to ask him to come sit with me because he was too much of a gentleman and it was too early in our relationship for him to just make the executive decision. She said “He is just waiting for you to ask.” So I asked. He arrived at the ER and held my hand through five different people asking us if the ultrasound machine was in my room, a full pelvic exam, and a short phone conversation with my sister.
He stayed until almost five in the morning when they discharged me and sent me home. He put me in a taxi and took me uptown to my apartment, watched me get inside and then took the taxi almost a hundred blocks south to get home in time to nap, and then go to work.
Meeting the family!!! This was Brazilian Helicopter Pilot’s brother’s birthday. It was my opportunity to meet his two aunts and grandmother. It, of course, went swimmingly. No major incidents of any kind.
When my grandmother died at the very beginning of my workday, Brazilian Helicopter Pilot was there for me. At the end of the day when I looked at him and said I didn’t care where we ate I just needed to be somewhere quiet and safe, he took me back to his apartment and I had dinner with his family. I slept over at his place for two nights before it was time to head north to the funeral. Without his unending support, I am sure I would have fallen apart even more than I had.
Brazilian Helicopter Pilot took me to archery in Brooklyn and we began our bi-monthly tradition of shooting recurves. It was his belated Christmas present to me because I had had to go home for the funeral the weekend he had originally planned it. In order to shoot at Gotham Archery you had to first take an hour long class. They set us up so I was at the end of the line and Brazilian Helicopter Pilot was next to me shooting independent of the class. At the end they have a little shooting competition to see who can shoot the color balloon they call the fastest. I won the first little round of my branch of the competition and there was this loud YEAH! to my left. I looked over and Brazilian Helicopter Pilot was quickly looking away and pretending that he hadn’t been so invested in me winning that he had shouted.
That was also the month where, immediately after a huge snow storm, Brazilian Helicopter Pilot trekked to Brooklyn and all the way up to Inwood with me to look at new apartments because I was ready to move.
Brazilian Helicopter Pilot’s birthday. I took him to see Deadpool and we hung out with our friends. Then on Valentine’s Day he helped me move all my shit from Harlem to Inwood, clean my new apartment and set everything up. The night before that, at almost eleven at night, he trudged all the way up to Inwood with me because I had left the windows open in the apartment and it was so frigid we were worried something might happen.
I rolled over and looked at Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and said, “Happy six months, please don’t do anything to celebrate it.” I was just so relieved that we had made it six months without me self-sabotaging or him being revealed as someone other than he purported to be. I was simply joyful at knowing we had made the six month mark.
This was also the month where he finally got to meet my sister and they hit it off well – when have older siblings ever NOT gotten along? They live to pass onto each other more and better ways to torment younger siblings.
He also took me to a soccer game for the first time.
Bernie rally. Very memorable and not just because I got to listen to him speak, but because I told Brazilian Helicopter Pilot to get us seats in one of the NYU buildings so we could watch from a warm, high vantage point, and he went and got pizza instead. I figured out he was going to get pizza and altered my route so I came out of the alley as he was exiting the pizza shop and our exchange went like this:
BHP: Michelle!!! *super excited to see me* I got you a margherita slice!
Me: Brazilian Helicopter Pilot I told you to get us seats! We’re not going to have any place to sit! I was going to go get the food AFTER we were settled! I had a plan!!!
BHP: …..but pizza…..
Me: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAN ANYTHING EVER AGAIN
So now whenever it is up to Brazilian Helicopter Pilot to plan anything, he always has to reassure me that he is “going to do more than just bring pizza.”
We spent Memorial Day down in DC with my sister and mother. Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and I got to pick strawberries for the first time ever and I got to protect him against all sorts of creepy-crawly bugs and kept dumping my bucket into his so it looked like he was picking more. Either way, my sister and mother ended up finishing their rows first and helped Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and I finish ours. Then we made jam and I took a loooooong nap : )
Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and I went down to Williamsburg together, but you guys already heard all about that. We also went and saw the movie Warcraft together and I sobbed like a hysterical baby for the last 15-20 minutes of the movie and on and off for about an hour afterwards. Brazilian Helicopter Pilot had to take me home and sit with me until I calmed the fuck down.
It was a long night last night. We were running around, getting ready to head down to DC this weekend and then, last minute, we had to go to the pharmacy for a really complicated transaction. As we were waiting in line, after finally sorting out the prescription (had to get it ported over from CVS), I noticed something glorious displayed beneath the cash registers:
I elbowed Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and it went down like this:
Me: Ooooh! They have a breathalizer! Hmmm, DNA paternity test, breathalizer, drug tests, and cocaine drug test….everything you need after a long night of debauchery! *waits for it*
Man in front of us: *snorts and laughs*
Me: *looks up at Brazilian Helicopter Pilot*
BHP: *giving me the Really, Michelle? Really? look*
Me: *pouts* Well, at least he thought I was funny
Man in front of us: *laughs again*
BHP: *looks even less amused*
Me: *pouts even harder* I thought it was funny. Hahaha, Michelle! You’re SO FUNNY!
BHP: *kisses the top of my head* I thought it was funny
Me: *continues to pout*
About a half an hour later, in the middle of a completely different conversation:
BHP: ….well you can always ask your other boyfriend.
Me: *grins in absolute delight* You’re jealous!!!
The reason why this is funny to me is because Brazilian Helicopter Pilot is NEVER actually jealous and only very rarely plays at being jealous. I, on the other hand, take great pleasure in playing the possessive, jealous, slightly psycho girlfriend. Like today on our way back from coffee:
BHP: *confused* Why do girls keep looking at me?
Me: *head snaps around* Where!? Who do I have to punt into next week? I’ll kill her!
BHP: The girl with the cast.
Me: Doesn’t matter, I’ll still kill her.
BHP: *smiles indulgently and kisses my head*
Most of this started in December of last year when Brazilian Helicopter Pilot was being shamelessly hit on by Proctor Lady and didn’t get it. So we now have a long running joke about how oblivious Brazilian Helicopter Pilot is to other people’s advances and, thus, how possessive I am of him.
We are going to the Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo, NY : D