This is number two of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved! [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s…
Tag: humor
To Those Who Won the Genetic Lottery
To Those Who Won the Genetic Lottery: Not all of us can tan. WE JUST CAN’T. Please stop trying to explain to me the best way to get a tan, what methods of sunscreen application alternated with what-the-fuck-ever, and how long on each side for optimal crispiness without burn. I, and my fellow living ghosts,…
Dear Upstairs Neighbor
Dear Upstairs Neighbor, I never thought I would live below someone who put an Above Average video to shame. The people before you would stomp on the floor in time to me pounding chicken breasts flat for recipes. So when they left, I was actually kind of happy. Then you moved in and every fucking…
No More X-Files
He holds his magazine open with the pages tucked between his index and middle finger. His index and thumb form a circle and my brain can’t help but spin out and create stories about secret spy signals and how this could be one. Someone roughly whispered in his ear that if he needed help he…
Hello Personal Fulfillment
Hello Personal Fulfillment, I hope you receive this letter, I can’t seem to find your address and no one else seems to know exactly how to find you. There are a bunch of greasy snake oil salespeople running around waving your address in the air, but whenever I look closely, they’re all fake. It seems to…
#8 – I Want Your Powers/I am Jealous of Your Powers
This is number eight of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved! [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s…
Two Concurrent Letters
Dear Women Who Love Women, I am sorry. I tried, but no luck. With love and sincere longing, A (Regretfully) Straight Girl Hey Men Who Love Women, You are my only recourse. With resignation and reluctant resolve, A Straight Girl
#9 – No Vacation Time
This is number nine of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved! [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s…
Adventure Time Coney Island
The first time I ever went to Coney Island, NY was my first full summer in NYC. I was recently single and raring to live my life. I strapped on my bikini and took the N train from Astoria Blvd (2nd to last stop) to Coney Island (the last stop on the train). As the…
Adventure Time in NYC’s Suburb
Let me preface this post by saying that I don’t actually have a problem with New Jersey, it’s just very easy to pick on NJ and it is also a NYC cherished pastime. Having said all that, SCREW YOU NJ! So, I have relatives and a bunch of friends who live in/are from NJ. Therefore,…
Little Gentian 