Dear Universe

Dear Universe, A poop that big is not supposed to come out of a creature that small. Sincerely, Disturbed Human

#12 – Saving the World is Not a Source of Income

This is number twelve of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved! [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my…

#14 – I Can’t Intimidate You and Sometimes You Scare Me

This is number fourteen of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved happy and safe, and in your life! [In no particular…

Baby Michelle was Melodramatic

First off, apologies for the prior draft being sent out. It was a hectic as shit day and I didn’t get the chance to update the schedule on this. BUT! It’s Poetry Tuesday! We are going to go back through all my old notebooks and look at the god-awful poetry I wrote when I was…

Adventure Time in Relationships

So, not to jinx it or anything, but my one year anniversary with Brazilian Helicopter Pilot is coming up in just over a month. Seeing as how when we started dating I was so commitment-phobic that I had trouble assenting to go to lunch as friends at the beginning of our relationship, I am quite…

Baby Michelle was Melodramatic

It’s Poetry Tuesday! We are going to go back through all my old notebooks and look at the god-awful poetry I wrote when I was an angsty teen and then you will get present day Michelle’s re-interpretation/headdesk horror-filled embarrassment. Till the End of Time Your arms cradle me in my sleep, But when I wake…

Adventure Time CNY Style

I know all you intrepid New York, New Yorkers are squinting at that acronym trying to decipher it so let me give you a hand. It is Central New York and no that does not mean Midtown. I am talking about Central New York State. No it is not “Upstate New York” unless you insert…

This Week Ten Years Ago

The Week of 6/11/2006 Witty one liner: Why be normal when you can be yourself? Quote of the week: Cut out Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): An octopus has three hearts I think the witty one liner for this week has been my guiding principle in life. There have been many many times where…

Dear Brain

Dear Brain, I am healthy, have a good job, two degrees, a healthy and loving romantic relationship, and am writing almost regularly – could you please stop trying to convince me that I am a failure or that I am doing something wrong? I really would just like to enjoy feeling happy. Sincerely, Anxious Twenty-Something…

Dear Weather

Dear Weather, Could you please stop fucking around and just pick a damn season? Sincerely, Sick of Getting Sick

#17 – Supers are SO Paranoid

This is number seventeen of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved! [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my…