#17 – Supers are SO Paranoid

This is number seventeen of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

17) Supers are SO paranoid

Okay, so we all know that the saying “is it really paranoia if people are actually out to get you” applies here (especially for poor Tony Stark), but really? I mean it was a really cute/funny moment between Falcon and Black Widow when he accuses her of being paranoid and she replies with a very flippant “no, but has someone said something” (Civil War, paraphrase), but just imagine how that extends into all of their relationships. Look at Bruce Banner, he has every reason to be paranoid – in regards to himself and others – but his lack of trust damages his ability to form interpersonal relationships, which could help him. A lot of the paranoia for most superhero(in)es probably stems from undiagnosed and untreated PTSD, but that will be discussed further in reason #7.

Superhero(in)es have mad skills that allow them to go anywhere and find out almost anything. Not even the Flash and Captain America, two of the purest superhero(in)es can resist the paranoia that leads them into snooping. Now Michelle! You might cry, That is how they discovered many evil and dastardly plots and plans! But, as we have talked about earlier, professional life and personal merge and meld together and that level of paranoia cannot be healthy in interpersonal relationships, especially romantic ones. Your partner would have access to any and all of your personal and public records, and also to all of your electronic devices. All it takes is one bad day where hir arch-nemesis insinuates something and BAM nothing is secret anymore. Who are you talking to? That friend? Did you know that friend did this thing? Either you get sucked into hir paranoia and isolate yourself with your superhero(ine) or you have a spectacular breakup and potentially end up with a super-stalker or with three-quarters of a country hating you because you broke their favorite superhero(ine).

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