The Week of 5/14/2006

Witty one liner: I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.

Quote of the week: “Don’t worry, if that question comes [up], I’ll just confuse them.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

I don’t think I ever used that exact witty one liner above while in high school, but I do have the distinct memory of using “What I do is actually considered normal in my culture” to try to convince my peers that what I liked to do was acceptable. “What the hell were you doing in high school, Michelle!?!?” I can hear some of you yelling. Well, it was nothing terribly interesting. I would dress up in black bondage pants (you know the really cool, badass, Hot Topic pants with chains hanging off the back), black mesh shirt with black nail polish and black lipstick on every Friday the 13th to freak people out. I would refuse to let my friends listen to their iPods at the lunch table because they were supposed to be socializing. I would hang up on my best friend if her homework wasn’t finished. I would, apparently although I have no recollection of this, drink pickle juice in public. BUT!!! It was all considered perfectly normal and natural in my native culture of….none of your damn business!

It is so sad that one of our presidents said that, I don’t know what questions he was referring to, but it doesn’t sit right with me. I mean, trust me I use that tactic all the time, but it seems quite underhanded and assholish and wrong for our president to say and do that. I wish our politicians would be more straightforward. As The Boyfriend has said, this is what happens when you have career politicians who are more interested in keeping their jobs and kissing ass than doing what their constituents want and trying to make the world a better place.

I don’t know if this is where I originally heard this factoid about celery, but it is one that has stuck with me. I wish it was like that with carrots because I actually enjoy eating carrots. Celery is good when it is IN things and completely masked by other flavors, but other than that it can make my gag reflex act up. I am not sure if it was celery or zucchini or what, but I have this memory eating something when I was a kid and had a really bad case of sunburn/heat exhaustion and it tasted awful. I put celery in my pasta salads and chicken salad and stirfrys. Yuuuuuum!!