#12 – Saving the World is Not a Source of Income

This is number twelve of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

12)  Saving the World is Not a Source of Income

Look, I know that we all like to say that love comes first and love is blind and money doesn’t matter, but let’s be honest. Money is fucking important. Not only is money important, having a steady income is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT. It is not like we are saying we want all of our significant others to be millionaires, but it is IMPERATIVE that you are able to not only pay rent and utilities, but all other bills and still have enough money to be able to at least SPLIT the cost of the pizza. And let’s face it, if a superhero(ine) is not born into a wealthy family they tend to struggle to make ends meet, there are exceptions to this rule of course, but when your superhero(ine) is not an exception it makes life SUPER hard.

Let’s back this up first. Would you date someone who was unemployed or had an erratic employment history? The answer is no. Not necessarily because of the money issue, but because it shows a lack of motivation, drive, independence, and ability to take care of oneself. You don’t want to date someone who can’t take care of themselves, because when you need them to take care of you THEY CAN’T. I know that in today’s world where the job market is rough and it’s hard to find jobs I might have people getting upset with me, but if you actually NEED income, you will take any job you can get and then fight until you get the job you want – I know because I did this.

Moving the narrative forward, say you are dating a superhero(ine). Probably, due to hir inbred martyrdom ze will have NOT told you that ze is a superhero(ine) so you will only known them as a weirdly attractive person who has no job, does not seem to have any motivation to get a job, or is overwhelmingly underemployed. Now, if ze manages to get the fuck out of hir own way and tell you that that ze is a superhero(ine) and that is why ze struggles to get a better job you might say….hmmm, okay you are like a struggling artist. I can jam with that and support your life choices. But as we have discussed many times superhero(in)es are stupid and tend to NEVER tell anyone ANYTHING so you are more likely stuck thinking your significant other is a really asshole bum or cheating on you because they have no job and you can never seem to get time to be with them without them randomly running off in the middle of a date that YOU THEN HAVE TO PAY FOR.

So circling back round to the main point of this post: superheroing does not tend to pay well. I don’t know if the Justice League or the Avengers or whatever the hell little group your superhero(ine) of choice is on – if ze is even on one at all – pays their members, but there are a lot of superhero(in)es who run solo and finding a paycheck whilst saving the world is not easy.

Tl;dr: If you are going to date a superhero(ine) only date the rich ones, but you’ll never be able to date the rich ones because those superhero(in)es always come with a ONE TRUE LOVE (case and point: Batman, Tony Stark (kind of), Arrow, etc).

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