Hey Y’all! I am sorry to report that today’s post has been delayed to a later date due to unfortunate, but not unsurprising, nefarious plot issues. Namely. I am having trouble making up a sufficiently believable nefarious plot. BUT DO NOT WORRY! I have my minions helping me! All the love, Michelle
Tag: creative writing
#25 – Promiscuity/Alien STDS
Hey Y’all! Sorry that I didn’t get this out yesterday, I needed the weekend to get my head back on straight and pump myself up! This is going to be an awesome week : ) So without further ado, reason 25 for why normals should not date supers. [In no particular order, except for number…
Spider Legs and Nail Polish
Her mascaraed eyelashes looked like spider legs sprouting from her eyelids. There was a sore on the right crest of the glossy bow of her mouth. Her fingernails had chipped purple nail polish on them.
An Open Letter About Ball Sweat
Dear Dudes, Look, I get it. It’s hot out. We just survived the hottest month of the year (on average for New York) and we are almost out of the dog days of summer. It is humid and sweaty and sticky and nasty out, but that is no excuse for your stank. I would apologize…
#26 – Domestic Abuse
TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE Hey y’all, this usually lighthearted post has taken a turn for the dark this week. Please note the trigger warning and skip if it is not something you can handle. [In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1] Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral…
Dear Heat/Global Warming/Weather
Dear Heat/Global Warming/Weather, Could you knock it off please? I am a “young, up-and-coming professional,” which just means I got little to no expendable income, and my apartment did not come with AC. I am dying here. I come home late and spread out starkers in front of my fan, and barely have the energy…
One Time!
Farley wandered into her roommate’s bedroom and face-planted in her bed, whining loudly. Anne ignored her until Farley started poking her nonstop. “What is it, Farley?” Ann asked as she bookmarked her page. “My dick is three states away,” Farley whimpered, rolling her head to the side so Anne could hear her. “Your…dick?” Anne was…
#27 – Evil Doppelganger/Imposter
I don’t know if I told you all how this list came into existence, but better now than never. The top reasons for normals to not date supers started when I was still working at the coffee shop. I think it was a really slow Sunday (all Sundays are slow when you open at 7am…
Hey Inconsiderate Shithead
Hey Inconsiderate Shithead – Turn that shit off. It is 7:45 in the morning and you are playing fucking candy crush with your sound on and no headphones. Some of us just want a quiet morning commute without having to be part of your inane obsession. The girl in front of me looks like she…
#28 – Paparazzi/Media
Welcome back to the top 30 reasons for Normals to not date Supers. I have been chatting with my coworkers about this series and one helpfully gave me some examples to back up future points. Also, let me know if you have any reasons to add to the list, or examples to back up posted…
Classified Revisited
Recent creative writing MFA graduate and administrative assistant seeking: male between the ages of 23 and 40 (reasonably flexible on age). Must give actual massages, not just running hands up and down their partner’s back as a prelude to sex. Must either have played hockey in the past, love watching professional hockey, and/or be open…
Little Gentian 