#26 – Domestic Abuse


Hey y’all, this usually lighthearted post has taken a turn for the dark this week. Please note the trigger warning and skip if it is not something you can handle.

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. Remember that domestic abuse is not gendered or limited to heterosexual relationships. Anyone can be abused and anyone can abuse. If you are being abused there are a lot of wonderful resources out there to help you get out and be safe.

26) Domestic Abuse

We all love to think our superhero(in)es are kind, loving individuals who would lavish undying affection and attention on their significant other(s), and there is nothing to say they won’t be, but let’s look at some facts:

“Domestic violence is 2 to 4 times more common in police families…40% of police officers self-report that they have used violence against their domestic partners within the last year” (purpleberets.org) and “Soldiers with PTSD are up to three times more likely to be aggressive with their female partners than those without such trauma” (domesticshelters.org).

Superhero(in)es are under a lot of stress, always in danger, and most use violence to solve their problems. Most superhero(in)es are traumatized – Tony Stark, Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, and the list just goes on. It almost seems as though having a traumatic past is a pre-requisite for being a superhero(ine). With such a history of abuse and trauma in their own lives, it is not surprising that it might follow them home. It is also canon that Hank Pym abuses his wife – there is the one seen instance of actual physical abuse and a long history of psychological and emotional abuse (https://diaryofacomicbookgoddess.wordpress.com/tag/mr-fantastic/).

Superhero(ine)s must be in control and in authority at all times and when this boils over into the domestic sphere, abuse could ensue. And then the question is, who do you turn to? It is hard enough when your spouse is a police officer or military, who can you expect to protect you from the guardian of the city, the country, the world, or the galaxy? How do you hide from that person, and who has the power to stop them?

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