Hey Inconsiderate Shithead –

Turn that shit off. It is 7:45 in the morning and you are playing fucking candy crush with your sound on and no headphones. Some of us just want a quiet morning commute without having to be part of your inane obsession. The girl in front of me looks like she wants to rip your liver out and feed it to you and I would help hold you down for it. The guy next to her, the one sitting directly in front of you, just rolled his eyes and sighed. But yet you play on with no thought for the people around you and force at least two people to put headphones on when they had been perfectly content without.

You may ask why I simply did not inform you of your massive subway courtesy faux pas, so that you might correct your behavior and not be a total douchehole. Well, let me tell you why.

Because I am trapped on a fucking train at 7:45 in the morning with you. The train is packed and if you are a raging asshole then I have no escape and you might scream and get in my face. And let me tell you, despite the paper telling me that the murder rate is down in NYC, I do not know the physical assault statistics and I FIRMLY believe in Heywood Banks’s warning – you never know who has a gun. Also, the bystander effect is still alive and kicking. I doubt any of these apathetic, caffeine-deprived commuters would stop you, call for help, or stick around long enough to give statements.

So do the world, or this small car of exhausted, completely done with your shit train travelers, a favor – turn the sound off on your fucking phone or plug the fuck in.

Thank you,

Irritated A Train Rider