Evil Genius Gynecologist

It was like her first appointment all over again. Her mother holding her hand, Dr. Martins between her legs, and her feet were back up in the stirrups. Farley watched her gynecologist closely as the woman examined the painful, sore bump that had appeared down there. Farley couldn’t understand how the fuck she got an STD when all she had been doing was masturbating, but she couldn’t figure out what else the fucking thing could be and if it was an STD she was so throwing out that body pillow.

“It’s just a small infection, a pustule, nothing to be worried about. They’re quite common,” Dr. Martins said as she prodded the small inflammation and Farley hissed.

“Wait, a pustule? Like a pimple? I have a pimple on my vagina?” Farley did not bother to try to cover up her outrage, and her voice might have gotten a little pitchy at the end.

“It’s on your labia,” her gynecologist corrected her.

“Because that’s so much better!” Farley draped her free arm over her eyes and slumped more into the bed, groaning. “It’s bad enough I got zits on my face, but now you’re telling me I go them on my fu-reaking labia, too? Hi, I’m Farley and I have labial pimples. That is so wrong – ow!” Farley jerked at the sudden pain. “Did you just pop it?!”

“Yes.” Dr. Martins cleaned up the area, sitting back and taking off her gloves. “Keep the area clean and dry, wear a pad for the rest of the day because there might be some residual spotting.”

“You popped it without telling me first!” Farely’s voice was bordering on squeaking she was so indignant.

“I didn’t want you to tense up, that would make it hurt more,” Dr. Martins said, disposing of her gloves and passing Farley a pad.

“You are an evil genius,” Farley told her, equal parts reverent and horrified.

“Thank you, Farley.”

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Peppy says:

    LMAO!!! Sorry – but quite funny!

    Like

    1. I feel like this is the story of Farley’s life, one humorous indignity after the other, but at least she seems to be able to find the humor in it too

      Like

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