Object of Focus

Anne checked her watched and stifled a growl of frustration. She paced around the kitchen one more time before making her decision and walking up to the bathroom door and hammering on it with one fist. “Come on, Farley!” she hollered through the door. “You have been in there twenty minutes already.” “Bathroom time is…

Relationship Talk

“I think we need to break up,” Farley said. “Why?” Matt looked stunned. “I thought everything was going great.” “You know what I look like when I come.” “You know what I look like when I come?” Matt relaxed a fraction, confusion mixing with amusement as he realized this was not a real breakup conversation….

Wax on, Wax Off

Farley was a low-maintenance kind of girl and she liked that about herself. It didn’t take her three hours to get out of the apartment in the morning and she didn’t spend half of her paycheck on beauty supplies. Makeup was typically a once a week occurrence reserved for the days when the stars aligned…

Desperate Serial Killer Seeking Significant Other

Time Stamp: Pre-Matt Short, cute, slightly crazy woman seeking partner. Do you enjoy being simultaneously terrified and aroused out of your mind? Does awkwardness turn you on? Have you ever wanted to date a girl who is more obsessed with your penis than you are? Then we have got the person for you! Her name…

Text Message Panic

Farley had never dated someone who was emotionally in touch and affectionate. She didn’t really understand how to react to cute text messages and spontaneous hugs and kisses that weren’t necessarily a prelude to sex. So the first time Matt sent her a text that read had to deal with so many idiots today. made…

Don’t Believe Everything You Read

Anne came through the door to the apartment, calling out a distracted greeting as she shed her purse and kicked off her shoes. She shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it on the shoe rack as she made her way to the fridge to grab her juice. Opening the fridge she vaguely noted that…

Nonverbal Before Coffee

Anne and her friend Wren were sitting at the kitchen table talking easily over their second cups of coffee when Farley shuffled into the room and headed straight for the small, manual espresso machine on top of the microwave. Wren opened her mouth to greet her, but Anne shook her head. “Far is nonverbal before…

Serial Killer: Farley

Anne exhaled and dropped the draft she was reading on the table. “Ooooookaaaaay, Farley,” she said. “You sound like a serial killer.” “How!? How do I sound like a serial killer?” Farley demanded. Anne picked the paper back up and cleared her throat. “‘I find most of my artistic inspiration in the human body,’” Anne…

Those Five Words

“Farley, we need to talk,” Anne said. Farley looked up from where she was halfway through her assigned Biology reading. All of her warning bells were going off. Klaxons screaming, lights flashing. Those five words never ended well for her, ever. Be cool. Be cool. She reminded herself silently. “Yeah?” Farley asked, and her voice…

Seventies Porn Style

“Please remove your clothes, then lay down on the table and cover yourself with the sheet,” the nurse instructed before slipping out the door. Farley slide out of her jeans and panties in one swoop and folded them up, placing them on the chair. She pulled her t-shirt off, folded it and set it on top…

Wordsmith

The Original Prompt was: So, prompt. That awkward moment at a cafe where there is one seat left at any of the tables and you need it, but, naturally, there will be a stranger sitting across from you. And go. Bonus points is said other person is attractive.   Farley had wanted to work on…

Library Etiquette

The Original Prompt was: I guess this could be more a request than anything else but I’m not 100% sure what to classify it as. Anyways, as you know, I find Farley hysterical and obviously want to read more of her. A lot of her stories are based on her gynecologist appointments, but her last…