One Time!

Farley wandered into her roommate’s bedroom and face-planted in her bed, whining loudly. Anne ignored her until Farley started poking her nonstop. “What is it, Farley?” Ann asked as she bookmarked her page. “My dick is three states away,” Farley whimpered, rolling her head to the side so Anne could hear her. “Your…dick?” Anne was…

Evil Genius Gynecologist

It was like her first appointment all over again. Her mother holding her hand, Dr. Martins between her legs, and her feet were back up in the stirrups. Farley watched her gynecologist closely as the woman examined the painful, sore bump that had appeared down there. Farley couldn’t understand how the fuck she got an…

Re-Evaluating Partner Choices

After her first gynecologist appointment, Farley’s annual vag checkup was old hat for her. She wasn’t even in the grin-and-bear-it-but-more-like-close-your-eyes-and-endure-it camp; she was firmly in the this-ain’t-no-big-deal-let’s-chat-while-you-put-shit-up-my-vag club. Since she only got to see her gynecologist once a year, her time to impress and traumatize was very short, and in five years she had yet…

Tit Talk #1

Some men name their penises and talk about them in the third person, so Farley refuses to let anyone make her feel weird about the fact that she calls her breasts “the girls” and that the three of them have pep talks. She started calling her breasts “the girls” in high school, but they didn’t…

Farley’s First Appointment

The first time Farley went to the gynecologist, she was nowhere near as blasé. She picked at the appointment like a half-healed scab, and ran to her mother every time it hurt. Her mother, to her credit, did her best to assuage her daughter’s worries and fears, but a mother’s assurances can only do so…

It’s a Gift

Please welcome Farley to our family!   Farley liked to think she was conversationally gifted and she liked to share this gift with others as often as possible. She had a way with the English language that most people could only dream of having. Growing up, she had been the nerdy asshole who called people…