Tit Talk #1

Some men name their penises and talk about them in the third person, so Farley refuses to let anyone make her feel weird about the fact that she calls her breasts “the girls” and that the three of them have pep talks. She started calling her breasts “the girls” in high school, but they didn’t have their first talk until she was in college, and it happened by accident.

Farley had been dropping off resumes to coffee shops and restaurants, looking for a job, when the top button of her dress shirt popped off and she was left with gaping cleavage. She had walked home and promptly had a talk with the girls.

“Look, you, both of you,” she said sternly, looking down at her boobs, hands akimbo. “I know neither of you have had any action in a long time, but this is not acceptable behavior. You cannot go ripping and popping out of my shirts. I need those shirts intact and you flashing the goods all over the place is not going to get either of you sexy times any quicker. Well, maybe it could, potentially, get you more attention, but I am very focused on school right now and do not have time to break in a new boyfriend or sexual partner. So keep a lid on it, and stop being little attention whores, have some pride!”

The girls sulked for quite a few days after that.

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