Dear My Future Child[ren],
I love you.
I am twenty-five years old and I have no idea when I will meet you. I am twenty-five and have no intention of having children any time soon, but I love you so much right now, I needed to write and tell you. It sounds insane, but it’s true. I love you because you are mine. Whether you came to me from my body, through adoption, or through the merging of two families, I love you and I want you to know that.
I will always love you. No matter what sex, gender, sexuality, race, mental health, physical health, or age you are. I will always want to protect you. I will cry when you are hurt, I will be angry when others are mean to you, and I will always be waiting with open arms whenever you need a hug. You can always have a hug. I will always hold your hand, ruffle your hair, kiss your forehead, and tell you that you are never too big to sit on my lap. You are my baby and nothing can change that.
Life is hard and I can’t say I will make the best choices every time, but I will try to make the best choice for you for the situation at hand. I will make you angry. I know you will tell me at least once that you hate me, and it will break my heart, but I am sure it will be because of something I did to protect you, to keep you safe. I will try to fight your battles with you and not for you. I will let you fall down and I will cry and kiss your boo boos better as best I can. I will try not to be a helicopter parent, but I will always worry and want you to be happy.
I will try to let you wear the clothes you want to wear and listen to the music you want to listen to, but it might be hard and I might not always understand. Be patient and understand that it is so scary for me to see my baby growing up. I promise you I will never scrub your nail polish off with paint thinner and I will try to explain why I say “no” if it is to something that you have your heart set on.
There will be pictures. Your grandmother has taught me well and I have 12 years of Girl Scouts under my belt. I will take a million pictures of you and I will video tape you. I will save them to share with any future significant others. There will be family. Your grandmother was eighth out of nine and L was third out of six. You might not feel like you fit in or you may love every single one of your extended family, but you are going to every family event until you no longer live in my house because family is important they are the people who will always have your back no matter what.
I am so excited to meet you.