Library Etiquette

The Original Prompt was:

I guess this could be more a request than anything else but I’m not 100% sure what to classify it as.
Anyways, as you know, I find Farley hysterical and obviously want to read more of her. A lot of her stories are based on her gynecologist appointments, but her last adventure you posted involved her and her roommate. I thought that last one was really cool because we got to see Farley in a different scenario, and even more so, to see her interact with someone else to see how they react to her. I think it could be interesting seeing Farley interact with some characters we haven’t seen her interact with before just to see how they deal with her particular personality (since she’s got a lot of it).

Obviously I don’t think this should be at the expense of building her relationship with her gynecologist, because I think there’s a lot there, but I think it would be really cool to see her interact with some other characters, even just perhaps in one-off encounters.

I’m currently just starting to have a mental image of Farley in a library though and wondering how that would go.


Farley wasn’t allowed to talk in libraries. She wasn’t even allowed to whisper in libraries. This was a rule Valerie had come up with after Farley had gotten them kicked out of the Law Library during midterms for talking too loudly about how all men needed to wear cock socks like women have to wear bras. Valerie had backed her up against a wall with a mechanical pencil and told her that she wasn’t allowed to talk in libraries, even when Valerie wasn’t there, and if she did Valerie would know and disown her.

Because of this, Farley tried to never have to communicate with anyone in the library. She used the self-check out kiosks, searched for all her books on the library website before arriving at the library, and never sat with anyone who might encourage her to talk. But today? Today Farley was screwed. The book she had meticulously researched was not on its shelf or any of the tables or return carts on that floor or the floor above and below it. Which was why she found herself standing across from a librarian who was as hot as the sun and rapidly signing at her in ASL like a God damn champ, a piece of paper between them with the book written on it in Farley’s untidy scrawl.

Farley snapped out of her fear induced stupor and frantically waved her hands back and forth. The librarian slowly stopped signing and looked at her quizzically. Farley beamed at him and quickly wrote on the paper I am not deaf, I can hear just fine, thanks!

“Oh, oh!” he said, nodding in comprehension. “I see.”

What? What do you see? Farley wanted to demand, instead she nodded and tapped the paper.

“You are looking for this book?” he asked and Farley nodded again. “Well, let me look it up in the system.”

Farley sighed and reached for the paper. I already checked the shelves, it is not there. Is it behind the counter?

“Ah, one minute,” the librarian disappeared into the back and Farley covered her face and whimpered quietly.

She had her head up, and a smile on her face by the time he returned without the book.

“I am very sorry, but someone must have it,” he told her.

“Figures,” Farley mouthed and then touched the extended fingers of her right hand to her chin and brought her hand forward, signing ‘thank you,’ the only ASL she knew, before scuttling out the door.

But that was not really why Farley was screwed. She was screwed because said librarian had just caught her spinning around in the middle of the quad at 12am screaming vulva and penis at the top of her lungs, while Valerie laughed and egged her on. In her defense, her Human Sexuality professor said they needed to practice saying the proper anatomical words for their junk.

“I thought you were mute!” he hissed at her and she dropped her arms from where they had been punched up in the air.

“I never said I was mute,” Farley said.

“You implied it!”

“I told you I wasn’t deaf!”

Valerie took another bite out of her Twizzler.

“Were you suffering from laryngitis?”


“Then what?!”

“I am not allowed to talk in the library!” Farley finally shouted. “I say the wrong things too loudly and then I get kicked out and it’s not my fault!”

He paused for a long moment.

“Oh, God. You’re the cock sock girl.”

Farley went bright red and Valerie started cackling.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Mike says:

    That was honestly more amazing than I was ever even expecting. I was laughing so hard throughout. Poor Farley, she’s just trying her best but no one else understands.

    She could be on to something with the cock socks too. Sounds very sanitary.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad that you liked it! I imagine Farley as talking very loudly when she gets passionate and excited and wants to share her ideas so something that was supposed to be between her and a friend is suddenly available for everyone to hear, and sometimes gets her in trouble


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.