Okay Everyone! You all do not seem to want to talk to me so I am bringing in the big guns!!!! He is very excited to receive your questions, comments and inquiries. He will be here only for today. If you have a writing prompt he will definitely try to get it written for you…
Tag: humor
Hey CNY
Hey CNY, You have ruined me for natural disasters and inclement weather. In 2012, my first Fall in NYC, when Super Storm Sandy was being broadcast everywhere, I scoffed. Hurricanes! Just a little rain and wind this far north! Turned out I was in at the edge of Zone 2 and the school evacuated our…
This Week Ten Years Ago
The Week of 1/22/2006 Witty one liner: There is no I in TEAM but there’s a ME!! Quote of the week: “Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): Approximately 75 acres of pizza are consumed in the United States every…
Too Cool, But Not Really
He walks on the train, goes straight to the door to the next car, grabs the bar over my head and plants one foot on the door, leaning back on the door in a smooth, practiced move. He has black shiny dress shoes, black pants, and a knee length brown coat. He looks super badass…
Yo! Two glasses of wine!
Yo! Two glasses of wine! I know I am not a karaoke star and that this is not a movie. Stop trying to convince me that the music piping in through my Beats is surround sound to my own personal music video. I will not dance around this subway car to Taylor Swift! I know…
These Past Four Weeks Ten Years Ago
It was a rough holiday season, but I am back with letting you know what 16 year old Michelle was like! The Week of 12/18/2005 Witty one liner: I smell bacon! I smell pork! Run little piggy I have a fork!! Something I wrote under that: relax, enjoy, joy Quote of the week: The squirrels…
Dear Butt
Dear Butt, I know you think you’re adorable and the center of the universe, but you’re not and you need to stop expanding and making my pants too tight. Also, just because I buy you cute underwear does not mean you are my favorite body part, so stop telling everyone that. My knees are getting…
Watching Man Films Without Sound
I do not have an awesome subway post, but enjoy my experience riding a bus from NYC to Syracuse, NY. This is a DM twitter conversation I had with a good friend of mine: Me: Dude across the aisle from me is watching some OH WOE IS ME FOR I AM A WHITE BOY…
Relationship Talk
“I think we need to break up,” Farley said. “Why?” Matt looked stunned. “I thought everything was going great.” “You know what I look like when I come.” “You know what I look like when I come?” Matt relaxed a fraction, confusion mixing with amusement as he realized this was not a real breakup conversation….
Wax on, Wax Off
Farley was a low-maintenance kind of girl and she liked that about herself. It didn’t take her three hours to get out of the apartment in the morning and she didn’t spend half of her paycheck on beauty supplies. Makeup was typically a once a week occurrence reserved for the days when the stars aligned…
Adulthood
Adulthood: You suck. Regards, Mid-twenties
Desperate Serial Killer Seeking Significant Other
Time Stamp: Pre-Matt Short, cute, slightly crazy woman seeking partner. Do you enjoy being simultaneously terrified and aroused out of your mind? Does awkwardness turn you on? Have you ever wanted to date a girl who is more obsessed with your penis than you are? Then we have got the person for you! Her name…
Little Gentian 