After her first gynecologist appointment, Farley’s annual vag checkup was old hat for her. She wasn’t even in the grin-and-bear-it-but-more-like-close-your-eyes-and-endure-it camp; she was firmly in the this-ain’t-no-big-deal-let’s-chat-while-you-put-shit-up-my-vag club. Since she only got to see her gynecologist once a year, her time to impress and traumatize was very short, and in five years she had yet…
Tag: creative writing
#29 – Jealousy
I don’t know if I mentioned this in the first post, but the 30 Reasons Not to Date a Superhero(ine) are meant to be reasons why NON-SUPERS shouldn’t date supers, if that wasn’t obvious. This is a humor piece and not meant to offend or discriminate against superhero(in)es. Superhero(in)es deserve love, too. [In no particular…
Tit Talk #1
Some men name their penises and talk about them in the third person, so Farley refuses to let anyone make her feel weird about the fact that she calls her breasts “the girls” and that the three of them have pep talks. She started calling her breasts “the girls” in high school, but they didn’t…
#30 – Ooooops! My Bad!
In the aftermath of Captain America Day, I figured it might be a good idea to grace all of you with the top 30 reasons for why it is inadvisable to date superhero(in)es. I am not saying that you should NEVER date supers, I am just saying, here are a few things to think about…
Farley’s First Appointment
The first time Farley went to the gynecologist, she was nowhere near as blasé. She picked at the appointment like a half-healed scab, and ran to her mother every time it hurt. Her mother, to her credit, did her best to assuage her daughter’s worries and fears, but a mother’s assurances can only do so…
Sensible
You can tell a true office worker, who has been working in the business a while by her shoes. She’s smart and despite her pretty, flattering dress and matching jewelry, her feet are clad in practical running shoes with cute rainbow striped socks. Her sensible or maybe sexy heels are tucked away either in the…
It’s a Gift
Please welcome Farley to our family! Farley liked to think she was conversationally gifted and she liked to share this gift with others as often as possible. She had a way with the English language that most people could only dream of having. Growing up, she had been the nerdy asshole who called people…
Dear Sexist Asshole
Dear Sexist Assholes: Enough is ENOUGH! I have had it with your motherfucking opinions all up in my motherfucking vag. Everybody strap in! (gets up on stage) I’m about to open some fuckin’ minds. Always my own, A woman on the edge
Playlist 9 – Impressions, D7
Playlist: Depressed Song: Unseen by Katie Armiger The Wrong Attention Blindfolded by your own stupidity. Outstretched hands groping for answers. Glass between us. Hand to hand, but not touching. Bulletproof, shatterproof, soundproof, thick, but thin and you slide down that glass wall and passed through it easily into another’s arms. Am I so unworthy? Should…
Nap Time Corner
That corner over there is the nap time corner. Four people with their eyes closed trying to catch a few more moments of rest before they have to rush rush rush around all day. Maybe one of them is actually heading home having worked all night and is pre-empting sleep, giving hirself a little preview…
Dear Bitchy Prudes
Dear Bitchy Prudes, It’s none of your damn business if my breasts “pop” out of my dress. I do not appreciate your concern and I do not need it. I know my limits and I very rarely exceed them. If my boobs do happen to “pop” out – too fucking bad. It’s not like…
Thinking
What is she thinking about, biting her lip like that? What is playing in her headphones? Her green-blue eyes flick back and forth as she watches things flash by outside. She leans on the bar with one hand, standing on one foot, her other foot resting on its toe. Brown leather boots with a slight…
Little Gentian 