Re-Evaluating Partner Choices

After her first gynecologist appointment, Farley’s annual vag checkup was old hat for her. She wasn’t even in the grin-and-bear-it-but-more-like-close-your-eyes-and-endure-it camp; she was firmly in the this-ain’t-no-big-deal-let’s-chat-while-you-put-shit-up-my-vag club. Since she only got to see her gynecologist once a year, her time to impress and traumatize was very short, and in five years she had yet…

#29 – Jealousy

I don’t know if I mentioned this in the first post, but the 30 Reasons Not to Date a Superhero(ine) are meant to be reasons why NON-SUPERS shouldn’t date supers, if that wasn’t obvious. This is a humor piece and not meant to offend or discriminate against superhero(in)es. Superhero(in)es deserve love, too. [In no particular…

Tit Talk #1

Some men name their penises and talk about them in the third person, so Farley refuses to let anyone make her feel weird about the fact that she calls her breasts “the girls” and that the three of them have pep talks. She started calling her breasts “the girls” in high school, but they didn’t…

#30 – Ooooops! My Bad!

In the aftermath of Captain America Day, I figured it might be a good idea to grace all of you with the top 30 reasons for why it is inadvisable to date superhero(in)es. I am not saying that you should NEVER date supers, I am just saying, here are a few things to think about…

Farley’s First Appointment

The first time Farley went to the gynecologist, she was nowhere near as blasé. She picked at the appointment like a half-healed scab, and ran to her mother every time it hurt. Her mother, to her credit, did her best to assuage her daughter’s worries and fears, but a mother’s assurances can only do so…

It’s a Gift

Please welcome Farley to our family!   Farley liked to think she was conversationally gifted and she liked to share this gift with others as often as possible. She had a way with the English language that most people could only dream of having. Growing up, she had been the nerdy asshole who called people…

Dear Sexist Asshole

Dear Sexist Assholes: Enough is ENOUGH! I have had it with your motherfucking opinions all up in my motherfucking vag. Everybody strap in! (gets up on stage) I’m about to open some fuckin’ minds. Always my own, A woman on the edge

Playlist 9 – Impressions, D7

Playlist: Depressed Song: Unseen by Katie Armiger The Wrong Attention Blindfolded by your own stupidity. Outstretched hands groping for answers. Glass between us. Hand to hand, but not touching. Bulletproof, shatterproof, soundproof, thick, but thin and you slide down that glass wall and passed through it easily into another’s arms. Am I so unworthy? Should…

Playlist 4 – Depressed [End] Prose Poem

Armor Your Love I caught your ‘sorry.’ Am tangles in a moon girl. I’m low, not that there’s love. You miss quiet, I left unseen. You love the fall, it’s so much you. Love makes. I cry in you, he could love still – who’s the way? With years in time, first ashes to you,…

Playlist 9 – Impressions, D26

Playlist: Depressed Song 26: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 Broken She comes to him every time stiff, unyielding, sharp, and aloof. She is glass and ice, and rusted nails and jagged metal edges. She comes to him with marble eyes that slide away from his, razors for cheekbones, and poison for lipstick. She…

Containment

Can I lay myself down inside your bones for a little while? I need to rest a bit and I feel safe tucked in between the spaces in your skeleton. Because when I inhale deeply enough your ribs cage me in and I can feel each one holding me together as I fall apart.

Suspension

It’s been over two years since she woke up with the scent of someone else embedded in her skin, and it is both comforting and terrifying. She can smell his cologne and sweat and she remembers her face pressed into warm, smooth skin, and strong fingers stroking down the back of her neck. She remembers…