The Week of 4/16/2006 Witty one liner: My parents almost lost me as a child, but they didn’t take me far enough into the woods. Quote of the week: “Never squat with your spurs on.” – Anonymous Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves…
Tag: life struggles
Really Past Michelle?
Really!? Reaaaaaally, Past Michelle? Do you know what the scale said this morning? Do you? I am up two pounds because of you and your cinnamon buns and molten lava cakes and homemade whipped cream! Could you please think about me before you stuff your face with every sugary thing in sight!? Heavier than last week,…
Sleeping and Pouting
He looks like he is sleeping and pouting, not reading on his tablet which I can clearly see him fiddling with, flipping through articles of the Economist. Head tilted down to look at the screen, his eyes lowered to read, he appears asleep, but his lips slightly pushed out giving him a resting pout face….
This Week Ten Years Ago
The Week of 4/2/2006 Witty one liner: Silence is golden….but screaming is fun! Quote of the week: [cut out] Planner Quote: “What is now proved was once imagined” – William Blake Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): A fly flies slower when the sun is behind the clouds than when it’s sunny Happy belated…
Empowered Bystander
But it didn’t feel like it. I felt like shit and as though I hadn’t done anything good at all. It felt like the penultimate Straight White Cis Girl moment. Standing there on the train after a long day at my cushy job, and an hour on the archery range with my boyfriend helping me…
This Week Ten Years Ago
The Week of 3/19/2006 Witty one liner: I tried to sniff coke, but the ice cubes got stuck up my nose. Quote of the week: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): When Canada’s new 1987 one-dollar coin design went missing, the Mint…
Hey, Present Michelle
Hey, Present Michelle, If you hate it so much, just take it off the playlist, dumbass. I put it there, but you are the one whining about it when you have the power to do something about it. Without Empathy, Past Michelle P.S. – And saying that you don’t want to lose the song is…
Yo, Past Michelle
Yo, Past Michelle, Why the fuck did you put this creepy-ass song on this otherwise pleasant and awesome playlist? Every time it comes on it freaks me out and ruins perfectly good moments. Dude, seriously! Frustratedly Yours, Present Michelle
This Week Ten Years Ago
The Week of 3/5/2006 Witty one liner: Why is it when you talk to God you’re a saint, but when you hear God talking to you you’re crazy? Quote of the week: None written down Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): An elephant will extract its own infected tooth using tree branches and sharp rocks…
Dear Life
Dear Life, Please stop “happening,” I need to get a bunch of shit done. Do you know how hard it is to write and commit to your dreams when YOU keep “happening?” Tone down the “happening” please and I will not have to resort to running away screaming to a cave and hermiting for the…
Dear Disorganized Procrastinators
Dear Disorganized Procrastinators, You stress me out. Knock it off. Sincerely, An Uptight, OCD Planner
#ExBaristaProblems
Dear World, This is not a post where I bemoan people’s inability to foam my milk properly or how I miss access to free coffee. This is not that post. Coffee shops are warm in the winter and (sometimes) cool in the summer. They are busy and you don’t have to get past a host…
Little Gentian 