#ExBaristaProblems

Dear World, This is not a post where I bemoan people’s inability to foam my milk properly or how I miss access to free coffee. This is not that post. Coffee shops are warm in the winter and (sometimes) cool in the summer. They are busy and you don’t have to get past a host…

Sugar, We’re Going Down

Originally posted on capital2apple:
Dearest Libby, Utah. This is the solution to both your apocalypse concerns and frustrating customers. Before you rip up my letter because I am not taking you seriously, consider the following: (1) One of the main reasons the Salt Lake Valley was so attractive to its early American settlers was…

Dear Customer

Dear Customer –                     You’re a dick.        Sincerely,                 Your barista

Innocent Question

Hannah had her head cocked to the side, listening closely to the sound the steam wand was making in the milk as she tipped the metal pitcher to one side, watching the foam build up. When she was satisfied with the amount of foam, she set the pitcher flat on the espresso machine and turned…

All Rational Thought Has Been Currently Suspended

I have one really irrational fear. I can’t really explain where it came from, but I do have some theories. Let me set it up for you. I work at a coffee shop. I am a shift lead and, therefore, a key holder. I am an opener. I wake up at 4am to get to…

Blowing off Some Steam

Her dirty, coffee-stained sneakers hit the sidewalk at a fast clip, heel-to-toe until she remembered to walk ball-to-heel, which never lasted long. She was walking home, her tote bag clenched between her left arm and the side of her body. Loose, black exercise pants were cinched tight above her hips, the hems rolled up to…

Nuts

1/3/14 Also on a terribly delightful note: Customer: *sets down cup of trail mix that has craisins, raisins, nuts, etc in it* Me: Will that be all? Customer: Yes Me: That’ll be 4.00 Customer: *starts fishing around in his wallet* Me: *brightly* You know who also has really good nuts? *everyone freezes – customer, and…

Most Favoritest Words

1/10/14 This is the follow up post to Least Favorite Words. The next day I worked I asked people what their favorite words were. As someone who talks a lot and loves words I had a ton of fun with this. There was a three-way tie for Number One Coffee – Desperate, desperate people. But…

Chooose Your Words Carefully

1/8/14 So today I went to work at the cafe, per usual. I opened with Quentin, he was late (as expected, he missed his train). Paula came in at 8:00am and as I was switching out the milks and she was fixing a bagel, I complained that “of course my period starts the one day…