1/8/14

So today I went to work at the cafe, per usual. I opened with Quentin, he was late (as expected, he missed his train). Paula came in at 8:00am and as I was switching out the milks and she was fixing a bagel, I complained that “of course my period starts the one day I decide to wear my brand new panties.” Paula made a sympathetic face, but then grimaced and informed me she hated the word “panties.” After a moment’s pause she concluded that panties and moist were her two least favorite words.

It sparked a theme for the day. Up until my manager, Penny, clocked in later that morning, I asked many customers about what their least favorite words were. Here is the list and some of my insights.

#1 – Moist – Apparently there was some buzzfeed.com survey about the most hated/least favorite word and it was this one. I find it quite unfortunate that this is the least favorite word when it is used all the time to describe the most delicious cakes, and you can never escape it in erotica.

#2 – Panties – This world just squicks people out. They by far prefer “underwear.” I have to admit that “panties” makes me think of shonen manga and boys getting all hot and bothered over girls underthings.

Tied for #3 – No, Hate, Like, and Squishy – “like” is mostly disliked because it is so heavily overused as a filler word that people have come to resent it. Like myself ; ) My professor used “like” as a filler word more than 100 times a class. I am not kidding. I tallied once.

Runners up:

Analysis – the person who submitted this word simply told me it was “just a troubling word.”

Meatloaf – I grew up listening to “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” so I can’t hate this word, but if you think about it too hard it can become a little unsettling. Meat. Loaf. A loaf of meat. Meatloaf. Meatlooooaaaaaf)

Disappointed – I can completely agree with this one. There is nothing worse than being told that someone is disappointed in you, it is more distressing than someone being upset or angry with you.

Belieber – This is a compound word. A Beiber (as in Justin Beiber) believer. I nearly vomited when someone offered up this as their least favorite word. People are god damn freaks. WHY WOULD YOU SPEAK THIS INTO EXISTENCE!?!?! WHY!?!?! It’s just an affront to any language.

Sneaker – Southerner who doesn’t like calling sneakers by their proper name, prefers to call them “tennis shoes” or “running shoes” – I can’t get behind this one. I put on my sneakers every morning. But in another context, a sneaker, like someone who sneaks up on you or sneaks inappropriate peeks, that is a creepy word.

Celery – It is a great filler food though, but don’t eat it if you’re on a deserted island with no other food, you burn more calories digesting it than you get from it.

Whatever – This is annoying, when people just say it. As Paula pointed out, “it just can’t be said without an eyeroll.”

Early – People simply don’t like to wake  up, suck it up. I get up at 4am on work days and the delivery guys get up earlier than that.

Snot – I LOVE THIS WORD. I call people “little snots” all the time. It is my replacement for fucker when I am in a no swear zone.

Chalk – UGH the consistency, feeling it between your fingers, nails on chalkboard. VOMIT. I was one of those kids who couldn’t stand people dragging their nails down the chalkboard.

Slug – Talked to an old lady about how you walk home at night and feel your feet slipping and sliding around and realize that it’s because you’re walking on slugs – UGH, NASTY.

Organic – getting sick of all that self-righteous talk – not aimed at you Persephone, you are quite subtle and easy about it compared to many in NYC. If I have one more person try and tell me how I shouldn’t drink milk or eat meat I might stab them.

Guestimate

Cocktail – NEVER will I EVER have a problem with this word. EVER.

Eviscerate – I have fed at the trough of this word too much to not like it. It is such a wonderful and vivid word.

Gelding – Tee hee, obviously a MAN who submitted this one, terrified to have his balls chopped off. Reminds me Under the Skin where the aliens geld human males.

Pet peeve

Heighth – The Midwestern pronunciation of height.

Lubricate – lubrication keeps things working smoothly, I can’t hate on that.

Rigid – You people are just joy kills.

Basically – Overused, but I can’t complain too much because I overuse “just.”

Colonoscopy – This came in response to my saying I didn’t know if I hated “pap smear,” “cervix,” or “colposcopy” more.

Heavy set – There really are not nice ways to call people “not skinny.”

Coin – Weirdos, reminds me of a Garson Krebs episode where there is a bank teller turned robber who can’t stand the feel of coins.

Martyr – My confirmation saint was a martyr.

Cold – New Yorkers always bitch when it gets cold. GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

Pantyhose – Ridiculous, but sometimes necessary, EVIL.

Doily

Slice – A bit too gruesome for some people, but ugh my stomach does turn a little when I think about paper slicing through my fingers or that bagel knife through my thumb.

Bitching – The person who submitted this word liked being this word, but not people doing this action at her.

Synergy – Someone had spent too much time in a business environment being told about synergy.

Genius – Just because you’re a genius doesn’t mean you’re fucking smart, trust me, I know.

Pedophile – …..no shit.

Ooze – Really? It can be a slimy word, but it’s not terrible.

Rambunctious – I can’t find something to hate about this word, unless you hate puppies, which I can totally see.

Holocaust – one of our regulars is German and he told me this was his least favorite word

Utilize

Work – No one REALLY likes this word, but it works ; )

Cunt – I WANT TO RECLAIM THIS WORD, but it pisses me off that the LGBTQ community has been using it in a non-woman positive way. I also get really upset when gay guys start hating on the cunt, it’s just insulting. You might not like it, want to lick it, want to love it, but that doesn’t mean you need to trash-talk a part of my fucking anatomy. Thank you very much.

Bushy – BUSH.

Mushy – V-day is coming and everyone is bitter.

Amazing – According to this customer it is overused.

Swamp – ?

Interesting – Another overused word.

SO THERE YOU GO. This is what I do in my spare time at work. What is YOUR least favorite word?