Dearest Libby,

Utah. This is the solution to both your apocalypse concerns and frustrating customers. Before you rip up my letter because I am not taking you seriously, consider the following:

(1) One of the main reasons the Salt Lake Valley was so attractive to its early American settlers was its isolation acted as a defense mechanism. If someone wanted to come get you they literally had to climb mountains to find you. If you weren’t found in Salt Lake City, more mountain climbing was necessary to track you down. This would aid greatly in avoiding a zombie apocalypse.  The zombies would die of oxygen deprivation while wondering around the mountains. If not, no need to throw Molotov cocktails – just climb up a canyon wall and hide in a cave with some bats. This works for avoiding ebola too because no one in their right mind is going to…