#5 – Arch-enemies and Villians, Oh My! And Everyone Wants You Dead

OOPS! I forgot one! Here is number five of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

5) Arch-enemies and Villains, Oh My! And Everyone Wants You Dead

So we have already discussed the problem of everyone wanting ME, the significant other, dead, now we need to talk about the fact that everyone wants YOU dead. The title of this piece points at arch-enemies and villains as the main culprit, but the police are usually after superhero(in)es as well as aggrieved family members who a superhero(ine) has let down in some fashion or another.

Now you may be thinking: Well, they ARE superhero(in)es and for the most part, the majority of them are extremely hard to kill, so why is this a problem? If a cop shoots at Superman, Wonder Woman, or Spiderman they can typically dodge or are unaffected by the bullet. The reason why this is so important is because this is the actual problem and not a symptom. The majority of other reasons for not dating a superhero(ine) are symptoms of this issue – domestic abuse concerns, you (the significant other) are in danger, moral ambiguity, refusal to accept help, paranoia, viewing violence as the only solution, the fact that they are constantly having brushes with death, nightmares, no vacation time, and having a secret identity.

It is not easy both being the beacon of hope in the world AND the one everyone blames and hates. This is demonstrated often in MCU and in The Incredibles, the tension between people viewing our heroes as such or as destructive vigilantes who are ruining their home/city/family/world.

I see this reason as being different from reason number 13 (you are constantly almost dying) because bodily injury and risk of death are occupational hazards to being a Superhero(ine), whereas the psychological toll of knowing that there are people out there that hate you so much they dedicate their whole lives to finding, exposing, and killing you, is high. Knowing that the people who love and adore you and rely on you could turn on you at any moment because of a bad press piece or one mistake in the field is terrifying and not an easy thing to grapple with. I liken this to dentists – we need them and appreciate what they do, but there is potentially a high incidence of suicide among dentists because of the psychological tolls of their job.

So, while your arch-enemy might motivate you to get up in the morning and fight crime, they are also dragging you down.

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