This Week Ten Years Ago

The Week of 2/26/2006

Witty one liner: Finding a good man is like trying to nail jello to a wall.

Quote of the week: None written down

Offbeat oddity (courtesy of the planner): The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is a tiny sonic boom.

Planner quote: “In order to be a genuine listener you must first listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.” – Sean Covey


Even though I am in a healthy and loving relationship with a good man, I still have to agree with the witty one liner. I don’t know if the search for a good woman is equally as frustrating as I am pretty solidly an androphile, but it very well could be. There is a part of me that wants to reject this one liner because of how it is reductive and lumps all men and male-identified people into one category and then dismisses them. I am older, hopefully wiser, and know that things are more complicated, but at the same time this still rings true with me for different reasons. A “good man” to me is someone who trusts me AND my emotions and feelings, who listens and empathizes with me when I have had a bad day or when I am explaining to him what is like to be a woman in a very scary world, and who is motivated and competent. This is the first time I have been in a relationship with someone who fits the above description and more.

Since sixteen year old me didn’t give us a quote, I dug one up for us: “Start by doing what is necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Francis of Assisi

Can you imagine being hit with something that is moving so fast that it makes a tiny sonic boom? I would cry so hard.

I like the planner’s quote. It is true. The reason most people are shitty listeners is because they do not listen with their eyes and hearts as well as ears. Most people don’t even listen with their ears, they are too busy crafting their response in their heads to actually compute what you are saying. But to sit there and witness what someone is saying, to read what their is body saying and compare it to what is coming out of their mouth, to take what they say into your heart and feel their emotions as well as hear their words. That is what makes you a good listener.

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