#22 – Reproductive Concerns

A new installment of why NOT to date superhero(in)es! AND HOLY SHIT MY 200th POST!!!!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. 


22) Reproductive Concerns

Number One: do you even want to have kids with someone who could die/disappear/be transported to another dimension any day at anytime? I know that the death part is inevitable with any partner, but with a super the probability increases EXPONENTIALLY. I feel like if you want to have kids with a superhero(ine) you have to be fully prepared to be a single parent (Just look at Chichi and Bulma).

Number Two: You have got to be prepared for the reality that your child, as the kid of a super, is going to be the target for every psycho that has ever set their eyes on your significant other. You will probably have to move to the mountains and home school the kid in secret (again, see Chichi and Gohan).

Number Three: is your superhero(ine) even capable of reproduction? Some of them are from other planets/species/races = compatible for reproduction? On top of that could their alien reproductive system fuck with your reproductive system? I know I have read way too much fanfiction, but man if I was a cisgendered male and I had sex with another person and got pregnant off of that without warning – not cool (See Star Trek). A whole other segment of superhero(in)es were made super through radiation – their sperm/eggs might be completely inert or not safe to be put in your body.

Number Four: are you completely ready to probably have a super-baby? If you are the one who will be carrying the baby to term there is a possibility the baby could kill you in utero – punch through your uterus, eat you from the inside out, accidentally get upset and claw you open, etc. Also, if your baby is a super ze is going to have a hard, rough, isolating childhood, always feeling different, always carrying a secret ze can never share.

One Comment Add yours

  1. also it might go really wrong with aliens if a girl had tribbles


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