You make me feel small. In any other relationship I would say that is a problem, but for me it is my salvation. You give me permission to shrink down to my own size and fit back inside my body. Other people make me feel so small I fall through the cracks and disappear into…
Category: Graphite Smears
My writing – dribbles, drabbles, odds and ends, bits and bobs.
Love Note – Lungs
My body doesn’t know how to breathe properly. Apparently, my lungs were never briefed on their job description. When they read the assembly directions, they skipped a few steps and posted inadequate instructions in my brain. So, they have never been able to hold a full chest’s worth of air in them. Despite all the…
Love Note – Heartbeat
When I lie flat on my stomach, protecting my soft underbelly from the world, I can feel my heart beating through my chest into the bed beneath me. Each thump of my heart resonates through my body. It is so loud I am sure it is audible to everyone. I huddle under my blankets and…
Quarantine Diaries – Day 78 (Belatedly)
So, I do not remember if I mentioned in previous posts, but how I have been handling being in lockdown has been by being as inflexible as possible and maintaining a very rigid routine. This has worked, for the most part, but last week coming off of Memorial Day weekend and so much unstructured time,…
Quarantine Diaries – Day 72 (Belatedly)
Content warning – there will be discussion of blood donation. The section that deals with needles explicitly will bookended with this symbol: ~~//~~ If you have a phobia of needles, when you see the symbol, skip until you see it again and begin reading after it. I feel as though I have just emerged from…
Quarantine Diaries – Day 65
Whelp, the zombie sourdough didn’t kill me. Maybe I will do better in a zombie apocalypse than I originally thought. Yesterday was a shit show way to start a day, much less a week. It started off normal, which should have been a sign. I got up on time, I did my gratitude journal, stretched…
Quarantine Diaries – Day 57
As the days grow longer, my hope for any return to normalcy dwindles further. I sit here at my desk, staring at the lush greenery beyond my window and silently despair that the Earth, sweet beautiful Gaia, will move on without us – and, perhaps, it is better that way. Just kidding. While I know…
The Quarantine Diaries – Day 50
I think the combination of two straight days of cooking and a 10,000 step walk exhausted Monday Michelle so thoroughly she decided to take a nap and not show up today. There was one small flare-up, but besides that I was pretty damn chill, if not a little scatterbrained. I wasn’t able to focus through…
The Quarantine Diaries – Day 44
Monday Michelle this week was a little less Mad Max Fury Road and more “I got no fucks to give.” I had trouble concentrating and sticking with things this past week (as you may have noticed), especially on the weekend. Brazilian Helicopter Pilot had to keep reminding me about my Portuguese lessons. Because of his…
The Quarantine Diaries – Day 36
I have come to the conclusion that there is a Monday Michelle and she is a raging and totally unrepentant bitch. Today was another Monday marked by me mentally cursing out my yoga and meditation teachers….okay, fine, some of it was out loud, too. There is just something about Mondays that twists everything inside me…
The Quarantine Diaries – Day 29
I am happy to report that Brazilian Helicopter Pilot and I have survived another week in captivity together. This past week has officially been named “Cancel Week” in my head. As my therapist predicted, this past week was the slump. And I have to admit I was feeling it, too. Monday dawned bright and ragey….
Baby Michelle Was Melodramatic – Incompetence
Content Warning/Trigger Warning: poem contains domestic abuse and murder It’s time for some poetry! We are going to go back through all my old notebooks and look at the god-awful poetry I wrote when I was an angsty teen. Unfortunately, this one will not be fun or lighthearted so if you are not in the…
Little Gentian 