So, I do not remember if I mentioned in previous posts, but how I have been handling being in lockdown has been by being as inflexible as possible and maintaining a very rigid routine. This has worked, for the most part, but last week coming off of Memorial Day weekend and so much unstructured time, I went a bit crazy and threw most everything to the wind, which has resulted in the situation I find myself in today. Up two pounds with no one but myself to blame. In order to rectify this, I am back on my previous good behavior – NO SNACKS, weigh myself every day, yoga five days a week, and now I am adding an additional tool: calorie counting.

Man, how I had forgotten how much calorie counting sucks. I have done Weight Watchers, Lose It, My Fitness Pal, and pen and paper food journaling, but nothing makes it easier. I know limiting what goes in my mouth is the best way to maintain or lose weight, but it is not fun or pleasurable and in these times all I really want is to feel good. You know what makes me feel really good, really quick? Chocolate, cookies, wine, burgers, fries, and eating out. You know what does not immediately make me feel as good as these things? Carefully measuring out each ounce of juice I drink or tablespoon of peanut butter I put on my sandwich. I don’t like having to measure everything and know exactly how much fat I want to put on my ass, but can’t. Nothing that is decadently delicious is surprisingly low in calories and some things *cough*salads*cough* are extremely high in calories despite being so healthy for me.

I wimped out last night about putting my dinner in the app because I knew klaxons would go off and I would have to actually think about what I was eating. My punishment for cheating? Another pound on my tummy.

This is going to take some time to get used to.

Okay! Happy news! Good news!

My friend got married last week! On Zoom. It was beautiful and perfectly done. No. I did not cry through the whole ceremony. Shut your lying mouth.

The story behind her Zoom wedding was that she had chosen a work day late in May so she and her partner could be married at the courthouse and then all the attendees would go to a local restaurant for lunch as the after party/reception. I was of course pumped to be her witness and was gleefully planning a small little pizza and booze bachelorette party for her to say goodbye to  her decades of singleness.

Then COVID-19.

The ceremony was off. The bachelorette party cancelled. We began weekly video chats to replace our bi-weekly wine nights. Life inexorably ticked forward.

Then Governor Cuomo announced he was signing an executive order to allow couples to be married virtually. BOOM BABY! We were back in business. Oh, sure, there was some hemming and hawing, but, once she and her partner decided that this was what they wanted, it went full-steam ahead. I only got to see glimpses of the whole process, but decorations were ordered, families were wrangled, confusing government bureaucracy was navigated, and a photographer was procured.

Besides acting as emotional support, I didn’t have much to do with most of the logistics until they began to look at which video chat/conferencing platform would be best. Once they chose Zoom, I smiled and offered to act as host because I am the unofficial Zoom guru at my job. We ran a rehearsal to test angles and lighting and I even recorded it so they could hear the sound quality. I was truly in my element. I knew what I was doing! I run Zoom meetings at work every day!

Day of the wedding? Nerves, nerves, nerves! I was reading and re-reading the wedding day schedule, doing my makeup for the first time in over seventy days, squeezing into a dress. A litany of reminders and worries running through my head. Don’t forget to hit record. I hope I’m not overstepping by playing music before the ceremony starts. Don’t forget to spotlight their video.

And then it started and there they were looking beautiful and happy on their balcony. I got emotional and promptly started crying and continued to cry through the whole thing with my boyfriend awkwardly hovering just outside the range of the camera to hand me a handkerchief and be supportive. There were of course a few hiccups, there always are, but overall it was wonderful and went off with minimal hitches.

Love and light are still possible even in these challenging times.