This is number seven of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

7) You Never Talk About Anything and Won’t See a Psychologist

I know that I talk about this all the time, but COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!! Which is why this reason for not dating a super is SUPER IMPORTANT! Whether you know your super is a super or not, the lack of  communication will very possibly kill your relationship.

If you don’t know ze is a superhero(ine) then you have to deal with a huge elephant in the room that you don’t even know what it is. Ze will be shady as fuck avoiding questions about certain things, giving you vague smiles when you ask about other things, and then you find the bowling ball in the closet when ze says ze goes bowling Tuesday nights and you’re hoping that it’s an Overboard moment where you find out ze is working at the manure plant to make more money, but you are pretty sure that it is more like Brokeback Mountain and the tackle box. You try to be subtle, then you are confrontational, but as you know, most supers are 10000000% dedicated to NO ONE FINDING OUT THEIR SECRET IDENTITY OMG AHHHHHHHHH. So ze lies and lies and lies and lies! IF you are lucky, ze will tell you BEFORE you are murdered by one of ze’s archenemies.

If you know ze is a superhero(ine) you then have to deal with all the secrecy while knowing it all has to do with something that will likely either kill you or your beloved. It’s like dating a CIA/FBI/SHIELD/PickYourAlphabetSoupHere agent – I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you *wink, smirk, nudge, raucous sex.* But that routine is only cute when you are looking for a roll in the sheets, not when you have made the best potluck of your life and ze is late and then only picking at it and not talking about anything or only talking about inane, surface shit that most people talk about on first dates.

And then either way, whether you know or not, ze will NEVER EVER see a psychologist. Now there are paranoid and reasonable reasons for this, sometimes one reason might be both, as a super it can be hard to trust a complete stranger with secrets that they can use against you, it puts the psychologist in danger, the psychologist could actually be an enemy in disguise, etc. But, as the significant other, it is impossible to help your super deal with their trauma without the aid of a psychologist. Most supers have extremely traumatic pasts (Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Barry Allen, Ororo Munroe, Bruce Wayne, etc) and as a result will probably have undiagnosed and untreated PTSD. PTSD is a very serious thing and needs to be taken care of and treated and if your super refuses to see any kind of doctor about it or even talk about it properly, then they will never get better and will be stuck in a loop.

…..sooooooo communication is key! Talk about it with your significant others if you want your relationship to last!