This is number fifteen of the top 30 reasons for why normal people should not date a superhero(ine). WE ARE HALF WAY THERE!!!!! Remember supers! This is all in good fun, BUT if you see yourself in these reasons you should consider altering your behavior in order to keep your beloved!

[In no particular order, except for number one because that’s my #1]

Note: This piece will be written using gender neutral pronouns (ze instead of he/she and hir instead of she/he and him/her) in order to make this non-heteronormative. I consider “bro” and “brah” gender neutral. I use them in my day to day life to refer to people of all gender identities.

15) Violence is Not the Answer

When you’re a superhero(ine) you are a super-charged hammer and everything starts looking like stubborn little nails. Yes, there is a very admirable movement in the superhero(ine) world for less violence or at least less death – the Arrow, the Flash, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Vision, Daredevil, etc have all attempted to stop or at least tone down killing people. But, as Age of Ultron and Captain America: Civil War have worked to really drive home: there is a lot of collateral damage, a lot of broken eggs. If we take Captain America: Civil War as an example, at any point in that movie Steve had sat the fuck down and actually listened and tried to compromise with Stark, they could have reached a reasonable middle ground that, probably, would have satisfied everyone, but instead he kept secrets (something he had yelled at Stark about in Ultron) and punched his way out of it.

I think every superhero(ine) needs to take classes on a variety of subjects: leadership, mindfulness, strategy, philosophy, hostile negotiation, politics – domestic and foreign, history, meditation, and they all need to be in therapy and anger management classes (again, this will be expanded upon in #7). They need something to help undercut all the God/Martyr complexes that lead them to thinking, consciously or unconsciously, that they are the only ones who can do anything and that they are inherently better and superior to those they protect. Sam Wilson has the right idea with volunteering at the VA and being in therapy (he was still a total dick in Civil War, but that is beside the point). This would also help mitigate the chances of domestic violence and abuse.

Remember supers: Violence is not (always) the answer.

Work on your resume and maybe you’ll be able to get a job that pays the bills (reason #12 will discuss further).