Dear Libby,

Must you discuss such things? Was not there another conference you could have attended that weekend? Young Knitters of America perhaps? A nice wholesome club where like-minded people knit mittens for orphans, drink tea and discuss the latest episode of Downton Abbey? Where if someone happens to be divulging scandalous details of their “alone time” with their “boo” they can hide their face behind the Christmas sweater they are making for Mr. Whiskers?

Not your favorite porn site?! I am struggling to grasp the notion my baby sister knows what sex is and now my sensibilities have been assaulted by the thought that she watches porn! You are too young for these carnal pleasures. Go home and wash something. Truly there must be housework to do, a book to read, a sweater to knit, or hair to be washed.

It has been too long since I have seen…