Dear Butt

Dear Butt, I know you think you’re adorable and the center of the universe, but you’re not and you need to stop expanding and making my pants too tight. Also, just because I buy you cute underwear does not mean you are my favorite body part, so stop telling everyone that. My knees are getting…

Expectations

He’s wearing paint-splattered jeans, black sneakers, and a worn-thin t-shirt with a small spatter of paint on the right sleeve. He speaks with a rough, Brooklyn-born accent, and he has tattoos up both arms, and one on the right side of his neck. Laughing. What’s the matter with you, huh? What’s the matter with you?…