Dear Jane,

Joyeux quatorze juillet! Ouuaaaaiiis! C’est La fête nationale! Je suis très excité! HAPPY BASTILLE DAY MA SOEUR! Today, in 1789 the French Revolution began with the storming of the Bastille! I can still remember my high school French teacher telling me about the storming of the Bastille and how there are no remnants of it because the people tore it to the ground, leaving nothing standing. What I didn’t know, though, is that the key to the Bastille is in Mount Vernon because Lafayette sent it to George Washington in 1790 as a peace offering. I am simply OVERFLOWING with French feels today! My friend and I are going to the Museum of Sex after work today and we shall talk in bad French accents the whole time.

I looked up La Marseillaise for fun and was amused that it was written in 1792 and was declared the…