My Dearest Jane,

I know you are no longer in the dating game, but I am, and I feel the need to commit to paper the things I have learned. As you know, it has been two years since my last emotional entanglement, and as a result I have been rather incautious. Although I ignored the shallow water signs, at least I went in feet first instead of diving right in. Feel free to pass along my swimming tips, and add your own thoughts

Rules for Swimming in the NYC Dating Pool

• All swimmers get three strikes. Depending on your personality and the severity of your swim partner’s infraction, some actions may garner more than one strike.
• Always meet in a public place.
• Always tell someone where you are meeting, at what time, and with whom, and also check in periodically.
• Be either early or on time, early is preferred.